Painted Confessions
by itachifemsasu
Summary: There are two kinds of people in this world; one who choose to confess using their voices and the other who choose to confess through words invisible to the naked eye. However, neither is braver than the other. They are all the same, they suffer the same... Blah xP Sucky summary... yaoi, one-sided love, with a bit of angst.
1. Chapter 1

**HEY there guys :D Ok so here is another story like many more that are to come in the future :P**

**I know I should be working on my "the story of you and me" and trust me I am! *makes puppy face* Just that I couldn't help myself, and until or unless I got this off my mind, there would have been no progress in TSOYAM XD lol that's a funny abbreviation. **

**Anyways, this chap is short, but this is just the intro/prologue or idk what to call it! xD**

**So yeah... **

**DISCLAIMER: Did you see an anime series with the name "Uchiha-smutty-cest"? No? Yeah that's because Naruto doesn't belong to me and neither its characters. :P Shame, isn't it? ( u_u) xD**

**Anyways! ENJOY! oh and this is yaoi love :P**

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**Chapter 1**

_The __**Kübler-Ross model **__explains that there are five stages of grief._

_Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance..._

* * *

There was no meaning left. Even if he tried so desperately hard to find it, he couldn't find a meaning to his life.

It was useless now; his life, his very existence, everything.

Even the simple things which had made sense before, didn't anymore.

_Why does the morning come?_

_Why are nights so long and painful?_

_Why does the fate have to be so cruel?_

..._**Why does this pain never go away?**_

_**Or more, did he even want this pain to go away...?**_

The questions were driving him insane. But, the answer hurt even more excrutiatingly so. The answer to those questions wasn't all that difficult, in fact it was qiute simple.

Yes, the answer was indeed very simple...

He had lost that one person he loved and chehrished the most.

He had lost his... Everything.

The door opened and there at the door stood the person he had promised to make eternal vows with; a slender woman with long brown hair, no older than twenty of age.

"The dinner is ready. You really should eat something.. I even prepared your favorite food so..."

You could tell from her voice that she was trying to be cheerful but the slumped back of her lover caused her to trail off.

There was no response from him. He just kept playing with the silver band on his ring finger. The band that was a proof that he indeed had chosen this woman to spend his life with. But that didn't matter to him anymore. Nothing did.

The woman left after a few minutes of waiting, sadness clear on her face. She had been hoping that maybe he might respond today. Hoping that something might be different today.

But it wasn't.

Everything had been the same ever since that day...

It felt like as if time had stopped itself. Nothing moved forward. Nothing changed...

When the door closed behind him, he stopped playing with the silver band.

He looked at the band on his finger, remembering the day he had worn it for the very first time. How that time had felt... perfect.

He laughed sarcastically. Yeah right. Perfect.

He had been so blind and foolish.

So... Ignorant.

He took off the silver band placing it on the bedside table. He stared at it for a second before he pulled out the drawer and retrieved the gun from it. He placed that on the table too, beside the ring.

He stared at both items; both choices. He had a decision to make. A decision not so hard for him. He knew clearer than ever which choice to make... Which side to choose...

He picked up the gun, smiling to himself as he traced his hand over it.

Yes, this was his decision.

A decision he was too ignorant and blind to make before...

He wanted to be with that person whom he had loved more than his own life. But he hadn't ever realized the true extent of that love until it was already too late...

He brought the gun up and pointed it under his lower jaw and closed his eyes.

A last tear flowed...

A last smile graced his feature...

...**BANG!**

* * *

_In time, in time they tell me, I'll not feel so bad. I don't want time to heal me. There's a reason I'm like this._  
_I want time to set me ugly and knotted with loss of you, marking me. I won't smooth you away._  
_I can't say goodbye."_  
_― China Miéville, The Scar_

**TBC...**

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**ALRIGHT! So how was it? Good? Bad? Please leave a review and let me know! :3**

**Ja Ne! xD**


	2. Confession 01

**Hey guys! so here is the second chap. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: No i don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**Confession 01**

**Role of Fate**

_Fate is a cruel thing. It comes in many disguises, leaving you happy and vulnerable. You let your guard down and then BAM! It strikes you when you least expect it. Taking away all that held structure in your life, leaving you crumbling at its mercy….._

* * *

"Sasuke, are you sure you don't want to come with us sweetie?" A soft melodic voice called out.

"I'm sure, okaa-san!" the five year old boy replied.

Another sigh escaped.

"You do realize that your poor aunt is going to be sad knowing that her little angel didn't come to visit her." The mother of the five year old, Mikoto, replied ruffling her youngest son's rebellious hair.

"It's okay. She is just going to pinch my cheeks again." Sasuke complained, pouting angrily.

Mikoto giggled at her son's antique and pinched his left cheek "Well that's because she loves you sweetie!" she explained, clearly amused by her child's dislike to getting his cheek pinched. But she could understand why he hated it so much. All the woman who ever saw Sasuke would just squeal calling him adorable and cute little thing and then abuse his puffy little cheeks. It was always like that no matter how old the child grew.

Sasuke swatted away his mother's hand, rubbing his now reddened cheek. He pouted angrily, again, mumbling about 'start wearing a helmet'.

The opening of the front door of the house got the child's attention however, and he ran out of the living room as fast as his little legs could carry him. When he reached the hallway, he was greeted by the sight of his older brother taking off his shoes. With a smile as wide a Cheshire cat, he ran and jumped towards the older version of him, hugging him from the waist.

"Welcome home, Nii-san!" he greeted.

The elder chuckled and patted his head

"Thank you, little one." Itachi replied, a gentle smile on his face which was reserved only for his little brother.

"Ne ne, Nii-san! Listen! Okaa-san is going to visit aunt back in the town. I don't wanna go! Please tell okaa-san that I don't wanna go!" Sasuke pleaded his older brother.

If there was one thing Sasuke believed with all his might, it was that no matter what, his Nii-san will save him from everything. He was the younger's refugee and his hope when his father would ignore him and he'd feel worthless. His older brother was the one who comforted him and let him sleep in his bed whenever he had a nightmare or when he simply couldn't sleep. All in all, Itachi was the living example of the perfect older brother.

Sasuke clung to Itachi and buried his face in his shirt before looking up with puppy eyes. That always worked on the elder, and even without it Itachi would do anything Sasuke wanted him to do. He simply loved the younger to bits.

Chuckling, Itachi scooped the little pouting raven in his arms. He made his way to the living room where he knew their dear mother would be waiting.

"Welcome home, my precious. I suppose Sasuke has already explained the situation to you clearly." Mikoto smiled moving to kiss her eldest son on the forehead. Itachi nodded his head.

"Quite clearly" he replied amused.

"And?" Mikoto inquired, knowing the answer all too well.

Itachi smirked. "I guess I'll stay back and protect my otouto and his cheeks". He laughed when Sasuke angrily pouted up at him. His otouto truly was adorable.

Hearing his older brother laugh, Sasuke himself couldn't resist anymore and hugged Itachi around the neck.

"Thank you, Nii-san! You are the best." He squealed.

Mikoto shook her head smiling, looking at both of her children. She truly was blessed. She had two beautiful and intelligent sons who got along so well, and a husband who loved her children as much as she did, though he wasn't much for showing it. They were a perfect family, and she couldn't wish for anything more than what she already had.

An hour and half later found the head and the matriarch of Uchiha household at the front gates of their home.

"Now you two boys, be good" Mikoto told them. "Sasuke, don't wreck the kitchen or my garden. And Itachi, don't let your brother stay up past his bedtime. And no horror movies for him!" she added.

Both boys nodded their head. It was true. Their mother did know them well.

"Itachi don't forget your studies. You too, Sasuke." Their father, Fugaku added. Sasuke sang out his agreement while Itachi simply nodded his head again.

"We should be back by tomorrow afternoon. Don't open the door to any stranger even if they claim to know your father, or me, or anyone. Don't go near stove Sasuke. Don't watch television or late night movies or-"

'Hai hai, okaa-san!" Sasuke cut in.

Mikoto narrowed her eyes but soon gave up, sighing. She knew she was just worrying too much but she was a mother! And it is a mother's duty to worry over her children. She kissed their head and with a few last warnings, she finally got in the car and their parents left.

"Yaaay! Video games!" Sasuke exclaimed as soon as their front door shut. Itachi chuckled, shaking his head. All of their mother's warnings were in vain. His otouto was going to do whatever he wanted.

"Come on, Nii-san! I still have to beat you at Super Mario" Sasuke yelled from the living room, setting up the game box.

"Hai hai, coming!" Itachi answered, and made his way to the living room where his little brother was waiting for him, impatiently. He was smiling all the way. Everything felt so perfect and completed…. If only he knew…

* * *

The ring of the doorbell caused him to stir and open his eyes. He looked down and found Sasuke sleeping on top of him peacefully. He smiled, moving the younger's bangs to the side. He remembered Sasuke had played straight for four hours, refusing to stop until he won. So, Itachi had to lose intentionally, lest his younger brother pass put from exhaustion, which had exactly what happened when he had let Sasuke win.

The ringing got Itachi's attention again. He had completely forgotten about thart. He sat up, moving Sasuke to lie down on the couch. Sasuke stirred a bit but then went back to sleep, mumbling 'more tomatoes'.

Itachi walked to front door, wondering who it might be. It wasn't very late hours of the night but they weren't expecting any visitors. He looked through the peep hole and saw two officers standing out.

His eyebrows scrunched together wondering why they would be here.

A nasty feeling settled at the bottom of his heart making him uncomfortable. He opened the door nonetheless, resisting the urge to just go back and sleep, a time when this feeling wasn't consuming him, eating him up inside. The officers turned to look at him when the door opened.

"Hey kid, can we talk to an elder around here?" the officer standing on the right asked, gently. Both of them were muscular and tall, but this one had sandy blonde hair with hazel eyes, while his partner had dark brown hair with matching eyes.

"I am the eldest." Itachi replied, glad that his voice came out smooth. He didn't like showing his emotions to anyone. Sasuke and his mother were the only exception.

The officers exchanged a look between each other and Itachi didn't like it one bit.

"How old are you?" the second officer inquired.

"Eleven" Itachi answered in a monotone. The officer nodded his head.

"And your name?"

"Itachi. Uchiha Itachi"

"Do you have any other siblings?"

"Yes, my little brother. What is this about?" Itachi asked, getting impatient and annoyed with all these questions. He wasn't in a mood to answer these questions. He wanted to know the reason why those people were here.

The two officers exchanged another look before the first officer spoke again.

"We are very sorry to inform you that…. Your parents.. Uchiha Fagaku and Uchiha Mikoto, just passed away in a car accident.."

…..And just like that, the perfect haven was shattered….

* * *

"_Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth.  
― Bryce Courtenay_

**TBC...**

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**OK GUYS! how was it? Good? Bad? please review! X3**


	3. Confession 02

**Hey there everyone! :D how are you all doing? :P good I hope! xD**

**Well, I am kinda sad seeing the very few reviews to this story :( Come on readers! please leave a review! Dx **

**Anyways... here is a new chap . ...hope u enjoy... and review...**

**Thanks Svaneaalka for reviewing! And Thanks pointing the mistake! :D I originally planned for Sasuke to be 7 but then i went back and changed him to 5, so the mistake xD lol**

**Anyways! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: naruto doesn't belong to me.**

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**Confession 02**

**A Small World for The Lost**

_Lost are those who can't find their way back home,_

_Lost are the souls that wander in the dark of the night, alone._

_A delicately strewn band that sweetly entangles thou,_

_The flower of contentment is what thee sows._

_Then in the midst of tranquility, a storm comes raging; _

_Loud and ferocious,_

_Heartless and malicious,_

_Cruel and ostentatious._

_Snapping every thread oh so easily, _

_Leaving a taunting roar, echoing from the now empty valleys._

_Snatching away the compass that guided to safety,_

_Stealing the burning spheres that shined down at thee._

_Indeed, Lost are those who were caught in this storm,_

_Forever broken, mutated, scarred and torn…_

* * *

The sounds of children, of every age, could be heard from the playground. The little colorful bundles could be seen running around chasing each other in a game of tag, or some swinging up in the air trying to reach the sky, all with a wide smile on their faces. The older boys were busy building up a tree house, while the girls of the similar age to those boys could be seen playing with their dolls or braiding each other hair.

It was a cheerful environment, and any outsider observing could definitely feel the happiness radiating off the kids. It wasn't a perfect world for them, but it was a happy one nonetheless.

Amongst the crowd that loitered mostly in the playground area, in the far East corner of it, two figures could be noticed sitting on the swing set which wasn't used by the children at all. The younger one of the two quietly pushed his feet back and forth, making himself swing slightly. His ebony eyes were downcast while his equally dark bangs covered his eyes. The elder one, who was in his early teens, observed the plays of the children in the playground while casting a side way glance at his younger sibling now and then.

The call of his name got him to turn his gaze towards the glass doors that led inside the building. There on the gates stood a middle-aged lady. Her head was covered like a nun and she wore a long straight blue dress with white borders. She stood holding her hands with a gentle smile on her face.

The teen returned his gaze to the smaller boy sitting beside him on the swing set. He held his hand out to the younger and said "Let's go". The younger boy brought his eyes up the other similar set of eyes gazing down at him and then reached his hand out to hold the offered hand. They both got off the swings and made their way to the inside of the building, with the younger trailing behind his elder sibling.

Inside, the two were lead to a room at the left side of the stairs which led to the upper floor of the building. The room was big and cozy with two sets of sofas placed opposite each other. There was a coffee table placed in the middle, and a beautifully decorated vase containing fresh flowers sat on top of the table. The walls of the room were painted off-whitish, making it appear bigger than it really was. A large window occupied the opposite wall, giving a view of the garden outside which was blooming with all kinds of flower. The floor was made up of wood planks with a red carpet placed in the middle, where all the sofas and the table was.

The room already had three other occupants besides the two siblings that just entered. A kind middle-aged couple sat on the sofa on the right side. The third occupant was a man in his early fifties occupied the sofa to the left of the couple. He had a frown on his face but he immediately replaced it with a convincing smile.

"Ah! There you are Itachi! And I see Sasuke is with you too," he acknowledged them. "Here, come sit!" he pointed to the sofa opposite to the couple. Itachi narrowed his gaze for a second as if thinking of turning back, but then decided against it. He moved forward, Sasuke's hand still in his, and took a seat. Sasuke sat down close to Itachi and wrapped himself around his brother's arm.

"Itachi…" the older man started, casting a wary glance to the Sasuke, "this here is Mr. and Mrs. Takeda. They are extremely loveable couple and live in a warm cozy house back in village. And well," another pause, "they would really like you to become a part of their family. They are here to adopt you."

Sasuke's arms tightened around Itachi's at the mention of the word 'adopt', although his head remained down. Itachi looked down at his otouto, a hardly noticeable smile on his face and patted Sasuke on the head. The younger raven peaked up at his brother noticing the smile and relaxed.

Sensing his little brother relaxed and assured now, Itachi turned back to look at the couple sitting in front of him. They both were looking expectantly at him. They did look kind and someone who were loving and caring. But they didn't offer him the one thing he wanted the most. To keep his otouto by his side. They only wanted to adopt him and that meant leaving Sasuke behind. And that wasn't going to happen. Not now. Not ever.

The old man already knew what Itachi was going to do. He had seen this go down more than once and understood the reason behind it. He had tried telling the couple that which he already knew, but they wouldn't give up without trying it for themselves.

"I'm sorry but I'll have to refuse your offer." Itachi stated.

The couple seemed appalled by his answer judging by the size of their eyes. "But why..?" Mrs. Takeda spoke, unable to comprehend.

"I promise, we are not like those people who appear friendly on the faces but turn vicious behind the scenes. We truly will take care of you and provide for you as well as-" Mr. Takeda was the one to speak up but he stopped short when Itachi raised his hand and shook his head.

"I can guess you are very nice people and I am not blaming you to be otherwise. My reason for refusing is that while yes, you can provide for me and rest, you cannot afford to adopt my little brother. And I simply refuse to go anywhere with anyone without my little one, however nice they may be."

Mrs. Takeda tried speaking up again but Itachi cut in "I'm sorry. I won't change my mind no matter what you offer to me." With that cleared, Itachi stood up, with Sasuke in tow, bowed down and simply left the room, leaving behind a quite disappointed couple who had been really looking forward to a new addition to their family.

* * *

It was night time now and Itachi lay awake in his bed, reminiscing about everything that had happened up till now. It had been two years since the night when he had received the devastating news about their parents' death. He didn't know what to do or think and most importantly; he didn't know how he was going to break this news to his five-year old brother.

The morning came however, despite his reluctance, and Sasuke woke up, now in the world where he was an orphan, where both of them were orphans now. Sasuke, oblivious to the somber news, woke up his usual cheerful self and seeing that innocent smile, Itachi had _almost_ convinced himself to hide his otouto from the harsh reality. _Almost_ being the keyword. But he knew he had to tell him sooner or later. So he had solemnly beckoned Sasuke toward himself and with every rushed step that the younger took, one of the pieces of his heart shattered.

Sasuke had frowned at first, not able to understand why was his Nii-san saying things like that, but the grave and broken look in Itachi's face had convinced him that no, his brother wasn't lying. He had then gone still for a few minutes and then the weight of the bitter reality fell upon and so did his tears with it. Sasuke had cried for hours in his big brother's arms and days after that while Itachi did his best to comfort his baby brother and tried his best to not let himself fall apart. He couldn't. He had to be strong for his otouto.

After that, everyday their house was open to social workers, and since the Uchihas had no other relatives, so they were transferred to an orphanage. Sasuke had protested but Itachi knew that this was the best option for both of them, since even though Itachi was a lot mature for his age, there were still things that he couldn't possibly do. Although he had made sure that he and Sasuke remained close. Many families had come to come to adopt him and he had refused all of them down, because they only offered a life for him and not his otouto. He didn't want Sasuke to be separated from him. His little brother needed him.

The sound of soft feet padding on the wood floor broke him out of his trip down the memory lane. He knew whom those footsteps belonged to and sure enough, his bed dipped a little and something warm and tiny attached itself to his back. Itachi smiled lightly.

"Couldn't sleep tonight either, otouto?" he asked gently. The small body behind him tensed when he spoke up but then relaxed seconds after and nodded his head in confirmation. Itachi turned to his other side, facing Sasuke who scooted even closer and nuzzled his head under Itachi's chin. The elder wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed him on top of his head. This had become an everyday occurrence now and to be honest Itachi himself had become used to having his little brother by his side.

He was drifting into sleep when Sasuke's meek voice got his attention.

"What did you say, otouto?" he asked stroking Sasuke's deceptively soft spikes.

"I said Gomen Nii-san," Sasuke repeated. Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. What was his baby brother apologizing for? His question was answered soon though. "I am always stopping Nii-san from going away to a nice house. Those uncle and aunty earlier seemed really nice. But you said no to them because of me.. Gomen…" the younger's voice faded out at the end.

Itachi sighed. His foolish little brother. He gently grabbed the younger chin and tilted his head upwards. "Foolish little brother," he said lovingly, "I didn't refuse because you were holding me back." Itachi explained.

"Then why did you?" the younger asked, a little angry. Itachi raised his forefinger and middle finger and jabbed Sasuke on the forehead "Because I want to stay with you and protect you. That's what big brothers are for." Itachi chuckled lowly as Sasuke angrily pouted, rubbing the red spot on his forehead. "I will always be with you." He assured.

Sasuke stared at his Nii-san for a while but soon a smile graced his childish and innocent features. He was content. Both of them were. For now.

* * *

"The monster I kill every day is the monster of realism. The monster who attacks me every day is destruction. Out of the duel comes the transformation. I turn destruction into creation over and over again."  
― Anaïs Nin, _ Henry and June: From "A Journal of Love"-The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin _

**TBC...**

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**Alright! So what do you think! leave a review please! they are the source of my motivation! I swear that is true! :P**

**Till next time! Ja Ne! :3**


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